when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
