i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
