i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
