just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
