well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
