call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
