Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
