Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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