Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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