so explain again why im purple
no
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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