Fuck appropriateness.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
