I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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