her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
