why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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