At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
