gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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