its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
