She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
