Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dignity is for republicans.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I love you. Go after that dick
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
