God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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