explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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