Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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