Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
