Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
