when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
