it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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