perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
