I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Randomize
