Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
