I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
