Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is Oprah even human
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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