Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
