nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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