I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
