i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
