i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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