wrigley field is MILF paradise
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
