So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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