ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
