Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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