We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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