found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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