I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
