I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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