He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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