you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
