i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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