Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
