Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
