i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
